Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
