He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
