Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
