You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The adults are the big ones right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
