Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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