There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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