Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
