Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
