so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
