Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
