yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize