We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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