Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
