i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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