nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
