I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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