is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize