giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
