I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
