when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
