I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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