For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
