i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it hurts more in the daytime
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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