I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
