did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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