I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
