you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
