On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
