i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize