Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
