Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
