Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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