used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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