I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
