I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
