Sry I called you an 8
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Text me some of your sweat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
