I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This baby is an asshole
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
