she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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