who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
