Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
