Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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