just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
vagina is talking i cant
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dear god my vagina.
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