You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
