I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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