I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
