Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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