Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
