We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
