piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What drink are we having for lunch?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
