I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
