I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
