I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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