True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
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