I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
