his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
