Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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