herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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