What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize