My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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