Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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