You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
