There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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