I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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